The Podium I Never Stood On

This is the photo of me finally receiving my first CrossFit Games medal. It was taken about six months after the 2018 Games. I am smiling because I was proud of it. I also knew the moment I had wanted was already gone.

I finished fourth at my first Games. Shawn Ramirez finished second. Months later, CrossFit announced that he had tested positive for GW1516 and Ostarine. He was disqualified and received a four-year ban. The standings moved me into third, and a bronze medal and $3,000 arrived later.

The correction mattered. I had earned that place. But a result on a webpage could not give me the walk onto the floor, my name being called, or the chance for my family to see me on that podium. The failed test did not just change a leaderboard. It took a moment from me that could not be rerun.

After serving the ban, Ramirez returned in 2024 and stood on a Masters podium again. He tested positive again. His appeal was denied, and CrossFit gave him a lifetime sanction. When I heard, I did not feel satisfied. I thought about the athletes standing behind him this time and how familiar their wait would feel.

I am not sharing this because I need sympathy. I have had more podium moments since then than I ever imagined. I am sharing it because doping often gets discussed as substances, sanctions, and corrected standings. That is the paperwork. The real cost is paid by clean athletes in moments they trained years to earn.

Testing matters. Penalties matter. But timing matters too. A sport cannot always keep someone from cheating. It can decide how hard it works to protect the athletes who do not.

The medal in this photo is real, and I am proud of it. The smile is real too. But every time I see the photo, I remember two things: the work was mine before the record caught up, and fair competition is not some abstract rule. It protects moments that only happen once.